Quit Goosin Around!

a stupid card game about geese being versus a bad little kid basically

Listen along or read if ya want ta.

🎲 Game Objective:

The goose may swim on the pond, but Big Boy’s daddy owns the pond—and he does NOT tolerate any geese goosin’ around in his daddy’s pond.

Legend has it, Big Boy wields the power of 20 geese. Your mission?
A good ol’ fashion coop d’état. Assemble an unstoppable 21 Goose Gaggle, one more than Big Boy’s reputed strength, and seize dominion over the pond as the one, true Great Honkeror, Ruler of The Pond.

Gather your gaggle, outsmart Big Boy, and rise to power in this whimsical game of strategy, cunning, and fowl play.

🃏 Card Types:

🦢 Gameplay

Pre-Goosin:

  • Shuffle the two decks (Goose Cards and Wild Goose Cards) and lay them face down side-by-side.

  • As ye start playin and Goose Cards are discarded, start a discard pile.

  • When the Goose Card draw pile is empty, shuffle the discard pile to create a new draw pile.

  • Wild Goose Cards are one-time use only—once played, them bad boys go into a separate discard pile and are not reshuffled. Leave em be.
    When Wild Goose Cards are gone, they gone.

First To Goose:

  • The group must unanimously decide who amongst ye is the silliest goose in the gaggle. Split votes don’t count. All must agree. Make yer case, and make it good. The game will wait.

  • Once ye decide, that player starts the game by drawing the first Goose Card.

  • Don’t matter who goes second, third, fourth, and so on… but I’d advise going in a circle. Other ways don’t make t’much sense.

How to Goose Around:

  • A turn begins and ends when a player draws a Goose Card. Simple. Period. Point-blank and goodnight.

  • Before drawing a Goose Card, players may trade any 4 regular geese (e.g. 4 Goose, 2 Geese, 1 Geeses, 1 Geese and 2 Goose) for a Wild Goose card. I call that “tradin in the Wild Goose Market.”

  • Traded Goose Cards go to the Goose Card discard pile.

  • Investin ain’t by no means required, but… well, you play how ye want to.

  • If a player draws a Big Boy card, that player must make a big "to-do" about it and discard their deck or play a Wild Goose card to stop it.
    All other players MUST exclaim, "QUIT GOOSIN AROUND, YA GOOSE!”

  • Upon collecting 17 geese, players must announce "I'm bouta goose!" Failure to announce "I'm bouta goose!" results in losing yer entire regular Goose Card hand if ye then win or get caught. Pre-mature announcements are just embarrassing. No penalty but lol learn to count.

🏆 Victory and Squawking Rights:

  • The first player to reach 21 geese (including Wild Goose cards) wins and is crowned The Great Honkeror, Ruler of the Pond.

  • All other players must flap their goose wings and honk in humiliation. Failure to honk makes you unfun to play games with.

  • The winner must improvise a Victory Cry, such as sum’n like…
    “BOW DOWN! IT IS I, THE GREAT HONKEROR, RULER OF THE REALM, WEAVER OF NIGHTMARES! EAT MY FLUFF!”
    or
    “I win! :)”

  • The winner begins the next round with the Great Honkerer Card (aka 2 points at the jump, suckers.)

📣 Stuff You Gotta Say

  • When you draw Big Boy: (EVERYBODY SAY IT) “QUIT GOOSIN AROUND, YA GOOSE!”

  • When playing Goose Gang: “GOOSE GANGGG!”

  • When playing Get Goosed: “GET GOOSED!”

  • When playing Lawn Mower: most God-awful lawn mower noise ye got

  • After reaching 17 Geese: “I’m bouta goose!”

  • When you win: Whatever you want.

💬 Partin Thoughts

Whatever questions ye have remainin become make-em-ups and house rules. Write em in on the back a’ sum’n. Make rules you like better. Leave a negative review of this game. Shoot, I don’t care.

After all, arguin over rules fer a game about collecting geese is truly in the spirit of Goosin’ Around, so have at it, brother.

And feel free to call me if you have any questions:
706-615-4417 lol

Wild Goose Cards

Unaffected and unbothered by Big Boy. Each is worth 1 goose point, so hang on to ‘em and keep count! Once you use ‘em, they’re gone for good.

  1. UNGOOSABLE GOOSE: Worth 1 goose point. An unflappable goose—not even a lil scared of Big Boy. Ye cain’t do nothin with ‘em… he don’t do much but stand thyur, but hang on to em, cause they build you a steady resistance in your gaggle (15 cards in yer deck)

  2. GOOSE GANG: Worth 1 goose point. Big Boy knows better than to mess with the Goose Gang (HONK, HONK, SON!) You can play yer Goose Gang at will to block a Big Boy or Get Goosed card (3 cards in yer deck)

  3. GET GOOSED: Worth 1 goose point. Only playable when you yerself draw a Big Boy card on yer turn. Use this card to divert Big Boy’s attention to another player, forcing them to discard their Goose Cards. That player can defend themselves by playing another Get Goosed card (if they got one) or block it by playin a Goose Gang card (3 cards in yer deck)

  4. LAWN MOWER (RARE): Worth 1 goose point. Ye ever seen a goose ride a lawn mower? Well shoot, I pray ye never do. A very loud goose. Lawn Mower Goose can be played during any turn (iridescent of whether or not you draw a big boy) to make another player discard their entire regular Goose hand; cannot be blocked (1 card in yer deck (thank God))

  5. THE GREAT HONKEROR: Set this bad man aside at the beginning of the first game. Worth 2 goose points. The winner of the first game gets tuh hang onto this card and must be recognized as The Great Honkeror until defeated. Period. (1 card in yer deck)

Goose Cards

  1. GOOSE: Worth… 1 goose point (30 cards in yer deck)

  2. GEESE: Worth… 2 goose points (18 cards in yer deck)

  3. GEESES: Worth… you guessed it… 4 goose points (10 in yer deck)

  4. BIG BOY: Daggum, that ain’t good. Drawing Big Boy scares all yer regular geese away, forcing the player who drew it to discard all Goose Cards—but not Wild Goose Cards (10 cards in yer deck)

What are you doing?